After adjusting to the news that he was going to be a big brother — of twins — Ethan has pretty consistently been enthusiastic and very involved in the entire pregnancy. This has made it somewhat harder, I think, now that we’re having problems and facing the very premature birth of the twins. Because he is so perceptive, it also has been impossible to hide most of what we’re going through from him.
Yesterday morning, while I was getting breakfast ready, Ethan said to me, “Mom, are you worried about the babies being born on Friday?”
“Have I been acting different lately?” I asked, after admitting that I was somewhat worried about what would happen after they’re born.
“Yes, you have.” But he went on to tell me it was okay, and he understood why I was worried. That made me want to cry. More than anything, I wish I could protect him from having to face the possibility of losing a brother or sister he doesn’t even know yet, and to let him avoid the upheaval that will inevitably come with having the twins in the hospital for months to come. But even if I wanted to pretend everything was okay, he would still figure out what was going on.
Overall, though, I think Ethan’s been a champ through this entire ordeal and has adapted very well to the new “normal” state of uncertainty. He certainly knows what is going on, and probably understands it much better than we think. But after I reassured him that it was okay to be worried and still have fun and do his normal things, he seems to be taking it pretty much in stride.
So today he is off for a much-awaited vacation in Wisconsin with Grandma and Grandpa Weiss (planned long before we knew any of these problems would arise), and is both looking forward to and a little worried about having the babies come this week. And I hope more than anything that the excitement and fun of his visit push all the worries out of his mind.
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3 comments:
I truly beleive that Ethan is a very well balanced, well adjusted boy and that he will be able to handle the worry and the joy (both of being a brother and vacation with grandma & grandpa)!!
I'm sure that it is because he has such a high comprehension of things that he can and will deal with everything like the champ he is!!
Kids are so resilient. Did I spell that right? I know this is not even the same thing but when we moved to Berlin I was so worried about the kids and how they would do with such a HUGE change but it turned out to be me that had the hardest time adjusting to all the changes. Logan is still jealous of all the attention Connor gets but he's seems to be trying to find a balance for himself. I just worry. UG! Keep you all in my prayers. Got to run kids are fighting AGAIN. he he
Ethan has been having a wonderful time up here in Wisconsin, but you can tell he has been thinking a LOT about his mom and the twins. Once in a while he asks questions, but only wants to talk about "it" for a short time. Now that they are really here, some of that tension has disappeared. There are many long days ahead for all of you, but we are ON THE WAY!
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